Having run a start-up & worked in the media, I'm not your typical psychotherapist. I can be a hot mess, too. My musings contain a psychological theme I’ve been pondering & a prompt to reflect on… If you like them, head to my substack page and get them sent straight to your inbox.
Do you understand your dreams?
Fifty shades of grey…
Therapy is so often about helping a person reach a balanced perspective and find the middle ground... But it is about moving away from black and white thinking, and existing in a more nuanced world.
Do you know your attachment style?
When two people are mutually invested and committed to creating a positive change in this way, a secure attachment style can be developed in the relationship.
You’re a big baby…
Stress and anxiety is your body’s way of responding to perceived danger. But we can use our ancient wiring to our advantage, by applying self-soothing techniques in those moments. This way, we’ll continue the process that our caregivers (hopefully!) started all those years ago.
Can you eat and sleep with them?
Rest and digest is the opposite state to Fight or Flight. It’s when our bodies feel safe enough to let down their defences - resulting in a slower heart beat and sense of overall relaxation. Just like its name, it enables us to rest and digest.
What do you truly see for yourself?
The idiom “Be careful what you wish for” is true. Without discerning whether your goals are ego-driven or something more profound, you can end up manifesting things that aren’t really in your best interest.
Are you cut off from the neck down?
In society, we are so afraid of experiencing discomfort or anxiety that we retreat from our felt sense. But when we form a connection with our bodies - and are no longer cut off from the neck down - we thrive.
If it’s hysterical, it’s historical…
In therapy, there’s a great saying: “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical”. In other words, when we have a particularly strong response to something, it’s worth looking at our histories to see what else might be going on.
Are you holding on to dead weight?
In economics, a sunk cost is a past cost that has already been paid and cannot be recovered. So, we should ignore it when we make decisions. Changing course creates far more value than continuing on the wrong path.
Opt for courage, not confidence…
One of my favourite quotes is by the great French writer, Anais Nin: “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” Even if you don’t feel confident, you can find courage that you didn’t know you had.